A young woman cornered me in the hall today while between classes. Although she looked very young it appeared that she had 3 small children under the age of 5. She began by telling me what a wonderful man her husband was and then added that even though she knows that he is faithful to her, at times she flips into the Green Eyed Monster if she sees him in the vicinity of a woman.
Intellectually she understands that he has done nothing wrong, but emotionally she feels terrified that he will eventually see another woman and then leave her. She wanted to know how she can learn how to trust people.
I realized that in the few seconds we had in the hallway there was no magic answer I could offer that would bring her the peace that she desired. What I did say was this - I told her that irrational jealousy (the kind that is not based on fact but on emotion alone) has nothing to do with trusting one's spouse. I told her that in fact this type of jealousy is rooted in her negative feelings about herself, and her belief that she wasn't good enough or pretty enough or wife enough for him - or any man. Deep down She had great difficulty loving herself and so it was very difficult for her to understand how anyone else could love her.
So she was creating a dialog in her mind that told her that one of these days he will discover just how worthless she is and then he will go off with a real woman. She doesn't trust herself enough to believe that she can be a good enough person for this man who is so loving, spiritual and wonderful - surely she didn't truly deserve him right?
Tears rose in her eyes and she looked at me clearly and said "So it is me isn't it? I'm the one who needs to work this out." "Yes" I said gently. And that doesn't mean that there is something defective in you. Most young women go through periods in their life when they feel insecure and jealous. But you are way ahead of them because you have the desire to figure out what's wrong so you can change it before it becomes a problem."
I told her that even I had tangled with the Green Eyed Monster as a young bride, and that I successfully overcame it, and so could she. She smiled and seemed to feel great relief. She had a new understanding and a goal to work toward, and most of all she was motivated by the love of her family and her desire to love herself; and to make this change a priority in her life.
Before one can change a problem, we first have to recognize that there is a problem. Once we realize there is a problem we need to have the courage to deal with it and replace it with something positive that will enrich our life.
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Friday
Post Traumatic Stress and the Media
Post Traumatic Stress disorder or PTSD is a very real and very curable problem. Anyone, even an infant can acquire symptoms of PTSD upon experiencing a serious trauma.
When my brother first saw the movie "Forest Gump" he nearly hit the floor during the scenes about Vietnam. Not because of the film, but because of the realistic sounds of the gunfire. It had been decades since he was in Vietnam but the piercing sound of gunfire that seemed to be coming from behind the movie viewers was enough to take him back to fright-filled days at war.
In today's world of 24/7 news coverage of terrorism, war and crime, it is even possible for someone to develop PTSD by immersing themselves in videos and newscasts about an event in which they had no actual involvement. This was made clear to clinicians after 911, and again during the Virginia Tech shootings.
After the Virginia Tech shootings however the process of developing PTSD was more widely understood, and after a few days nearly all of the footage was taken off the air. For those who had already watched hours of video, and who were already at risk for PTSD, it was too late.
Children are particularly at risk of developing intense stress reactions upon watching real or realistic events on film or television. Intense fear can cause them to regress into more childlike behaviors like wetting the bed, moodieness or having nightmares.
If you suspect that you or your child is experiencing serious effects of stress it is important that you get help immediately. Otherwise the stress can hang on for year, and can develop into phobias and other psychological problems.
Technorati Profile
When my brother first saw the movie "Forest Gump" he nearly hit the floor during the scenes about Vietnam. Not because of the film, but because of the realistic sounds of the gunfire. It had been decades since he was in Vietnam but the piercing sound of gunfire that seemed to be coming from behind the movie viewers was enough to take him back to fright-filled days at war.
In today's world of 24/7 news coverage of terrorism, war and crime, it is even possible for someone to develop PTSD by immersing themselves in videos and newscasts about an event in which they had no actual involvement. This was made clear to clinicians after 911, and again during the Virginia Tech shootings.
After the Virginia Tech shootings however the process of developing PTSD was more widely understood, and after a few days nearly all of the footage was taken off the air. For those who had already watched hours of video, and who were already at risk for PTSD, it was too late.
Children are particularly at risk of developing intense stress reactions upon watching real or realistic events on film or television. Intense fear can cause them to regress into more childlike behaviors like wetting the bed, moodieness or having nightmares.
If you suspect that you or your child is experiencing serious effects of stress it is important that you get help immediately. Otherwise the stress can hang on for year, and can develop into phobias and other psychological problems.
Technorati Profile
Wednesday
The Difference Between Psychology and Psychiatry
I am often asked what the difference is between a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist.
Basically a Psychologist is someone who spent their entire collegiate experience pursuing an education in human behavior. There are literally hundreds of types of degrees one can get under the heading of Psychology, including Clinical Psychology which is typically used to treat individuals and families in a therapeutic setting.
A psychologist is the professional ones seeks to deal with everything from marriage trouble to a serious mental illness. Therapy is generally done on a weekly basis in either an office setting, a clinic or hospital setting. Psychologists are not medical doctors and therefore cannot prescribe medicine such as anti-depressants or sleep aids.
A Psychiatrist on the other hand was a medical doctor first. S/he went to medical school and received a degree in medicine. Many psychiatrists set out to become psychiatrists, but many realize their calling after doing their "psych" rotation while pursuing their medical degree.
Those medical doctors who want to become psychiatrists finish an additional 1-2 year program in human behavior and psychopharmachology in order to become a mental health professional. Because they have a degree in medicine they are able to prescribe drugs to their patients.
In the US, psychiatry has become largely a profession of assessment and pharmaceutical maintenance for their patients, while psychology has taken on the major role of ongoing therapy. It is not uncommon for a patient to see their psychologist for weekly therapy while only seeing their psychiatrist quarterly for a brief assessment and a prescription renewal.
Basically a Psychologist is someone who spent their entire collegiate experience pursuing an education in human behavior. There are literally hundreds of types of degrees one can get under the heading of Psychology, including Clinical Psychology which is typically used to treat individuals and families in a therapeutic setting.
A psychologist is the professional ones seeks to deal with everything from marriage trouble to a serious mental illness. Therapy is generally done on a weekly basis in either an office setting, a clinic or hospital setting. Psychologists are not medical doctors and therefore cannot prescribe medicine such as anti-depressants or sleep aids.
A Psychiatrist on the other hand was a medical doctor first. S/he went to medical school and received a degree in medicine. Many psychiatrists set out to become psychiatrists, but many realize their calling after doing their "psych" rotation while pursuing their medical degree.
Those medical doctors who want to become psychiatrists finish an additional 1-2 year program in human behavior and psychopharmachology in order to become a mental health professional. Because they have a degree in medicine they are able to prescribe drugs to their patients.
In the US, psychiatry has become largely a profession of assessment and pharmaceutical maintenance for their patients, while psychology has taken on the major role of ongoing therapy. It is not uncommon for a patient to see their psychologist for weekly therapy while only seeing their psychiatrist quarterly for a brief assessment and a prescription renewal.
Thursday
What is Cognative Behavioral Therapy?
I am a proponent of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT, and I am often asked to explain what that means. Although it is difficult to do it in four paragraphs or less let me give it a shot.
CBT is effective because it teaches the client to modify patterns of thinking which affect behavior. CBT is a straight-forward therapy which is designed to alert the client to self-defeating ways of thinking. This type of therapy focuses on the client's negative self-talk, and offers practical suggestions on how to re frame one's thinking to make it more adaptive. The CBT therapist assists the client in thinking more rationally by examining the individuals nonsensical thoughts, observing ways in which they may distort reality, and reducing the amount of assumptions or beliefs that negatively affect their ways of thinking and behaving.
Homework is an integral part of therapy, patients will be encouraged to complete exercises designed to change negative thinking. A typical assignment is to help the client to identify current troubling events, negative self-talk, and ways of rationally responding to situations sited. Then, during the week, the client journals about difficult situations, identifies self-defeating thinking and refutes the negative thought processes with more rationally adaptive way of responding to events. The journal is often reviewed in the next session.
With CBT, clients are in control of their own progress. They are aware of the process that is necessary for change, and diligently work at modifying faulty thought patterns. Therapeutic progress is easily monitored through self-inventories and patient feedback.
Individuals with anxiety, addictive patterns and depressive disorders are particularly well suited to benefiting from this from of treatment. The good news is that many behavioral health disorders can be treated successfully through cognitive-behavioral therapy. NACBT or The National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is a good resource for locating counselors who are sufficiently trained, certified, and specialize in this treatment approach.
CBT is effective because it teaches the client to modify patterns of thinking which affect behavior. CBT is a straight-forward therapy which is designed to alert the client to self-defeating ways of thinking. This type of therapy focuses on the client's negative self-talk, and offers practical suggestions on how to re frame one's thinking to make it more adaptive. The CBT therapist assists the client in thinking more rationally by examining the individuals nonsensical thoughts, observing ways in which they may distort reality, and reducing the amount of assumptions or beliefs that negatively affect their ways of thinking and behaving.
Homework is an integral part of therapy, patients will be encouraged to complete exercises designed to change negative thinking. A typical assignment is to help the client to identify current troubling events, negative self-talk, and ways of rationally responding to situations sited. Then, during the week, the client journals about difficult situations, identifies self-defeating thinking and refutes the negative thought processes with more rationally adaptive way of responding to events. The journal is often reviewed in the next session.
With CBT, clients are in control of their own progress. They are aware of the process that is necessary for change, and diligently work at modifying faulty thought patterns. Therapeutic progress is easily monitored through self-inventories and patient feedback.
Individuals with anxiety, addictive patterns and depressive disorders are particularly well suited to benefiting from this from of treatment. The good news is that many behavioral health disorders can be treated successfully through cognitive-behavioral therapy. NACBT or The National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is a good resource for locating counselors who are sufficiently trained, certified, and specialize in this treatment approach.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)