How Can I Overcome My Anger?

Q. I have trouble controlling and expressing my anger. Are there any meditative techniques or therapies that can help me handle my aggression in a constructive fashion?


A. The solution is to become aware of the anger and its cause, and then learn ways to express your emotions calmly -- rather than lashing out at the world around you. The goal isn't to suppress your anger, but to get it out in a nonabrasive way.

We're now fairly sure that anger, either expressed violently or turned inward, impacts your health negatively. An increasing body of evidence shows that anger is a risk factor for coronary heart disease and sudden death. A six-year study at the University of North Carolina characterized the anger traits of 12,986 men and women. The results, published in the May 6, 2000 issue of "The Lancet," found that subjects with the most anger traits were two to seven times more likely to develop coronary heart disease. Some people who couldn't express their anger transformed it into physical tensions such as headaches, stomachaches, or difficulty breathing. I know one woman who would feel a painful tightness in her throat whenever she needed to express an emotion but, instead, kept it inside. Watch for these signs and try to become aware of the emotion you may be feeling.

Anger isn't always bad -- it can be useful. I've seen it mobilize healing responses, for example. One patient struggling with an autoimmune disease was able to overcome it through a complete reworking of his lifestyle and the use of various mind-body techniques. An important part of his recovery was becoming aware of -- and expressing -- his anger toward doctors and hospitals.

As you become conscious of your anger, begin to distinguish between the mildly annoying and the infuriating. With the things that anger you most, try to figure out what else you're feeling -- powerless? guilty? stupid? Once you've learned to recognize anger and identify its roots, it will be easier to express it constructively.

Psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and spiritual counseling may be useful in dealing with anger. Exercise is also an excellent way to cope with strong emotions -- both long-term and immediately. Several studies have found that physical activities such as swimming and yoga can ease anger and tension. Even one round of exercise -- say, a run around the block -- can significantly improve the way you feel.

Incorporate meditation and relaxation techniques into your daily routine. My breathing exercise will help you bring calmness throughout your body. Do it at least twice a day, and try it every time you feel anxious or upset.

Are Video Games Addictive? Why?

More than just fun, a 2007 study suggests that the best gaming platforms fulfill basic psychological needs.

A study that just came out this month shows that video games may be difficult to give up because the authors have discovered a way to put such realism into the games that they are actually fulfilling basic human needs.

Although some games were found to be just "fun" it was the games that provided opportunities for achievement, freedom and a connection to other players that created a players desire to come back again and again. "Players reported feeling the best when the games produced positive experiences and challenges that connected to what they knew in the real world," said one researcher.

It's the gamers' connection to other players that's the psychological pull of games, the study reports. And it is their capacity to create feelings of autonomy, competence and relatedness" - thus creating a short term feeling of wellness that brings players back.

For those who play massively multiplayer online, or MMO, games -- which are capable of supporting many thousands of players simultaneously -- the need for relatedness was found to be a key satisfaction, one that promotes a sense of presence, game enjoyment and an intention for future play," the researchers found.

In our culture of latch-key kids and using video games and the television as babysitters are our children being vicariously denied their basic psychological needs? It would seem so. If not, they would not have the intense need to find electronic ways to get their needs met. Healthy families require time - both quality and quantity.

Source: HealthDay, Medline, and psych-net.com